This past week marked a year from when I started my first job. It was a really surreal moment, like looking into a mirror and seeing something you don’t quite recognize.
I remember that first day and how incredibly nervous I had been, heck, that nervousness carried on for weeks. It was a big deal to me then, it was a complete turning point in my life. But I’d like to think I’m more comfortable with just being myself now. I’m less concerned with impressing people, or not being myself just to be “careful.” I am who I am, and the people I work with right now thankfully seem to like that person.
I guess it helps that I’ve been at my current job the longest of the three I’ve ever been at. MocoSpace was four months, SignedOn was a week (lol), but I’ve (thankfully) been at Nanigans for six months now. Heck I can even throw my only other non-software job into it (three months) and it’s still the longest.
I finally feel at home in my work, and you really can’t put a price on that.
To be honest though, I’m getting a little tired of all the “wow, it’s been a year!” stuff. Or maybe I’m getting tired of making a point of it. I think I’m doing it so I don’t have to think about this year, because I haven’t. To be honest, for this year there’s only two options.
I keep working at the fantastic place I’m at right now, or I won’t be. And that brings up something even more difficult for me to think through: is staying where I am what I want? It definitely is right now, but I can’t say whether that’ll stay true. On the other hand, do I not want to be where I am? Do I want to be looking and unsure of the future, but potentially broadening my field of knowledge?
It’s a tough question and that’s why I don’t want to think about it. This year will either end with nothing changing, or with everything changing. It’s almost an impossible decision.
But I’m making more out of it than I need to, there’s no reason to think it will be some major decision. If anything it’ll be gradual.
A representative from my company spoke at an event a month ago, and walking to where it was I was astounded at the places we passed. These were isolated locations I had been to over the past year: the convention center from PAX, the restaurant I said goodbye to Steph at, the restaurant my company went to the week after I had been hired in August (when I didn’t know many people there), the building that I went to the MassChallenge 60 second presentations with co-ex-SignedOn-er Max, and others.
I realized I had actually been to a great deal of the city, and can navigate it pretty well if necessary. I had been to many locations since moving a year ago, but I had never really “put it all together.” Even my place of work overlooks Quincy Market, which I took my mom to last May.
These were all important events for me, and realizing how interconnected they all are is an important step forward. Like, last year at PAX Steph and I wasted a good hour trying to find a restaurant, and even when I tried taking us someplace eventful we still ended up needing to look at a map. And my mom and I had to walk home from Quincy Market since I couldn’t figure out the subway system.
But things are different now, and that really excites me. I wouldn’t say I have a run of the city, but I’m actually comfortable here. It was probably inevitable, but it’s still surprising and gratifying to see it happen.
Boston isn’t some massive, impenetrable, suffocating place anymore. It’s all connected.