First Steps

I remember… it was November 2005, six and a half years ago. After a few months of radio silence on this blog, I finally posted about my initiation to high school. Pretty amazing this all stretches back that far. I value that post highly because I recorded my first day of high school then — regrettably I didn’t do it right after the fact.

I bring this up because I feel like there are very strong parallels between then and now. Today, it was the first day of my new job, instead of high school. But in many ways they’re very similar.

Like I’ve mentioned a couple of times, the “me” that entered high school is basically the same “me” as now. This “me” is definitely different from my childhood “me,” but otherwise I would consider my mind, ideals, thinking, and sense of humor largely the same as that kid on the bus in 2005. And today reminded me just how alike we are. Boarding that bus in late August 2005 was the same feeling as getting on the subway earlier today. The exact same.

But let me tell it right.

Today I awoke extra early — at around 7am — to make it to work at 9:30. I gave myself as much breathing room as possible, as I’ve learned the hard way how much it sucks to rush to important places. After boarding the bus (and accidentally paying for it twice) and being taken about three minutes away, I boarded the subway. Three stops and about fifteen minutes later, I’m in South Station. Lots of restaurants, many of them closed, but hey, McDonald’s is always an option, right? Forty minutes to eat, or rather, twenty to eat and forty until work. Even though the building was seven minutes walking distance from South Station, again, I gave myself some time.

I take out my netbook, but the internet is paid. Drat. I play solitaire as I take three bites of my McMuffin. My nervousness makes it hard to stomach anymore.

It worked out, I think. I arrived at 9:21, before the other two new recruits, and set about reading the litany of paperwork I needed to acknowledge and agree to. I decided to take it home since about half of it is insurance-related, and that’s an area I definitely need parental advice on. We’re planning a Skype video chat later in the week to resolve things.

From there, the other two arrived. Everyone’s nice. Some personality’s you click with more than others, but the ratio is pretty high here I feel. I definitely think the three of us newbies are banding together (as much as three people who have known each other for nine hours can.) It’ll be interesting to come back to this post and see how all these relationships have progressed.

R&D meeting at 10. About 15-20 people crammed into a tiny office room about as large as my apartment. It heats up quick. I suddenly feel I’m both overdressed (sweating! bad!) and underdressed in my red hoodie. But I’m not worrying too much, since the email I got seemed to have given the OK. For the near future though I’ll try to look very slightly more professional.

Everyone around the room goes over what they’ve been working on. The three of us introduce ourselves, as best we can given the situation. Meeting lets out, and from there I go to finish reading all the paperwork.

Lunchtime. A group of coworkers decide to go out and eat lunch together, a rarity I was told. Seems like for the most part people are solitary eaters. Makes sense to me, but I enjoyed the experience of walking together in a group and eating and talking. The nervousness at South Station that was mostly gone after entering the office is now entirely departed. I’m still a bit guarded but it now feels like I’ve known these people for days, not minutes.

Back to the office, I go about setting up my development environment and customizing my computer. Lots of stuff to setup. Time passes and at this point, it feels a bit like college. Sitting in a room with other young adults, staring at our monitors as time ticks by. By the time six rolls around, half of the coworkers have left (with me to join them shortly.) However I still have a component or two to setup on my computer. Mom texts, asking if I’m home yet — I told her I’d be out by 6. After about twenty minutes of futzing with the system and getting advice from the two other newbies, I decide to cut my losses and finish up tomorrow — hopefully with some help. Very few coworkers are left now as I leave.

Boston at night, unsurprisingly, looks different from Boston in the day. I become disoriented trying to find South Station again, two blocks away. But it isn’t long before I do, and from there it’s three stops again before I start walking the 13 minutes back to my apartment. I could have taken the bus if I had left earlier, but I don’t mind. It feels mild, even with the darkness and wind. I figure it around 55 degrees.

I imagine unlocking my apartment doors will keep giving my trouble for some time yet. But it’s not really a big deal. Inside my apartment it’s an inferno. I shuck off my coat and hoodie before grabbing a drink and calling mom and dad.

And so the worst is over, I think. At least this “kind” of worse, of having so much being unknown. That “worst” is almost impossible to deal with. Bad news could be “worst” but at least you know what it’s about.

There’s still some unknowns of course, questions and inquiries. I imagine it’ll be at least a month before they all slip away and I start the grind. But taking those first steps is always the hardest part.
-Andrew

PS- This entry’s writing style is new for me and I don’t know what to think… wasn’t a conscious decision. Who knew I could write a narrative? For comparison, here’s an excerpt from that protected November 2005 post:

Well, it’s been a heck of a two months, I’ll say that. I’ll try to start where I left off. So at 4:40 AM I got up for my first day, and it was POURING outside. Like floodwaters. So after five or so agonizing minutes, the bus came. I got on, pulled out my CD player, and waited for school…

…So I got settled in and found my classes. I wish I could go into greater detail, but I can’t because I can’t remember and it’s too much stuff to right anyways, even for me. So, it’s cool because during lunch you can do anything you want. Walk around, talk to people over the huge campus, and even eat!

…The campus has got to be half a mile long, and when you’e on the third floor of one building at one end of campus trying to get to the second floor of another building on the other side of campus all within five minutes, trying to dodge the idiotic students stopping in front of you or walking so slowly you want to push them down and run past them, it get’s stressful. Plus you got 20+ lbs. of books in your bag… Which reminds me! On like the fourth day, when I started driving my truck, (it broke down and we fixed it), one of my backpack straps broke, so all day I had to dash to class with my backpack slumped. Then on the walk home, (cause the truck done broke down!) the other strap broke. Do I have the best of luck or what?