Twenty

Dawn just broke, today on my 20th birthday.

I looked out of my picture window, as I did in my previous entry Separated by Glass, and spent around 15 minutes just thinking about my life, and how many experiences I’ve had. Messing around with my cousins, and having fun at parties with my family. My time with video games, playing Super Nintendo, Pokemon, N64, GameCube, Wii, DS. All the schools I’ve been to and the friends I’ve made there, at Preston, St. Joseph’s, Norwich Free Academy, even through Three Rivers. My time at church, learning about God with my brothers and sisters in Christ. Learning how to make websites, and my time online at all the various sites and forums. And that’s all just the tip of the iceberg.

I never realized I had compartmentalized my life so much. Each of these “zones” has its own feel, made up of a combinations of “auras.” Its own set of memories and people who made them as special as they are.

I lamented in my last post that I feel like my early memories are slipping away from me, but I was still able to remember much about my childhood. In fact I thought about it more than I did of my high school memories, but maybe it’s because those “wounds” are still fresh. It’s hard to tell, and very complicated.

Last post I was also concerned that I wasn’t ready to become 20, to enter a new decade of life. I was concerned my accomplishments now will mean less, now that I’m older. And that may be true. But that’s a petty way to think. I should be glad my own age is forcing me to get better, and to do grander things.

Looking back over my previous 20 years, I made many mistakes. Even one or two completely life-changing ones. But as cheesy as it sounds that made me who I am. I may make mistakes in the future, but in the long run I may be better for it. And if I’m scared of failure, what can I hope to truly accomplish? The greatest revolutionaries are those who aren’t afraid to die for their causes.

I’m running the race, I’m fighting the good fight.

And believe me, my life has only just started.
-Andrew