Eighteen

It’s good to see that you have come to the realization that living the lifestyle of a persona isn’t the best way to live your life. Sure, it brings comfort in allowing you to avoid your fears, but with time and if not confronted/controlled, it can eventually take over the mind, causing you to live a life with hollow happiness and no true sense of accomplishment. Needless to say, you are truly mature enough to move forward if you are able to see and admit that you want to show your true self and discovered it on your own.

I understand that it is not easy to be who you really are out of fear of judgment, but you cannot let that fear define you. I’m glad to see that you’re showing the real you over the false “you”. The steps forward maybe slow but don’t let the pace discourage you from moving on. It sounds like you have a plan already, which is great. I wish you the best of luck.

Thanks for the comment Kumi. =)

Sure, it brings comfort in allowing you to avoid your fears, but with time and if not confronted/controlled, it can eventually take over the mind, causing you to live a life with hollow happiness and no true sense of accomplishment.

That’s exactly it. Throughout high school, I absolutely loved being online; on G4, in chats, social networks, and forums in general. I loved that so much, the attention I got, the “friends” I got. But during the day at school I was really lost without that connection, I remember sophomore year I would be daydreaming in class about what so-and-so had posted in reply to something I had posted that morning at 3 AM. It was truly self-destructive behavior and I’m glad I corrected it two years ago.

I understand that it is not easy to be who you really are out of fear of judgment, but you cannot let that fear define you. I’m glad to see that you’re showing the real you over the false “you”. The steps forward maybe slow but don’t let the pace discourage you from moving on. It sounds like you have a plan already, which is great. I wish you the best of luck.

I don’t really have a plan other than “this is me, this is the way I want to act, accept it or not” when interacting with all the new people at my college. Having the entire mass of people around me “refreshed” has truly allowed me a second chance at building true friendships based on who I really am. I hope it works out.

“That’s exactly it. Throughout high school, I absolutely loved being online; on G4, in chats, social networks, and forums in general. I loved that so much, the attention I got, the “friends” I got. But during the day at school I was really lost without that connection, I remember sophomore year I would be daydreaming in class about what so-and-so had posted in reply to something I had posted that morning at 3 AM. It was truly self-destructive behavior and I’m glad I corrected it two years ago.”

I think everyone goes through spells like that at some point in their life. The internet has opened up a whole new world to people. It’s so easy to get caught up in the feelings people online can give you. It’s very easy to reach a higher “social status” on a forum since you can shape the type of person you want to present to the world there.

It would be a lie to say I didn’t enjoy the days back during my old “fan club” from 2004/2005 because I was never popular in school, but I was there. However, as we grow older…We become more comfortable with who we are and most of the time, we develop friendships with people to help us over come that “fake” life.

Needless to say, it can be very damaging to a person. Just look at all the people addicted to MMOs because of getting obsessed with a fantasy world where they’re a hero. It’s good to see that you pulled yourself out of it, though also know that it’s ok to still consider some online friends as real friends. I know there’s certain people in my life, whom even though they live out of state, I can’t imagine my life without them. And I’d like to think they’ll always be around and we can all watch each other raise families if we all don’t end up living near each other later in life. There’s just some special people, you know? So don’t feel like you need to throw them away to move on… Because you don’t have to.

“I don’t really have a plan other than “this is me, this is the way I want to act, accept it or not” when interacting with all the new people at my college. Having the entire mass of people around me “refreshed” has truly allowed me a second chance at building true friendships based on who I really am. I hope it works out.”

That’s the best way to live life. I can tell you know that it won’t all be sugar canes and gumdrops, but hey, that’s just life. I’m not trying to discourage you with that comment, if anything it’s meant to encourage you. The point is, even if things get hard, never give up who you really are because the rain will pass and when the sun shines again, you’ll see your real friends waiting in the light for you.

I hope it all works out well, and I’m sure it will. I’ve only seen a bit of what I assume is the real you and it seems like a pretty nice guy. I’m sure you’ll do alright in the world; just don’t lose track of who you are.

Thanks Steph, you’re a pro at pick-me-ups. Maybe that should be your career?

(Again, a late reply due to being out of town for a week and unable to accessing your blog on my phone.)

No reason to thank me, it’s what I do. And yeah… I’ve thought about psychology as a career; I’ve had a few people say I’m good at reading/understanding people. I’ve been suggested to be a psychologist a few times, but I don’t know.

Whereas I’ve been suggested to go to the psychologist a few times. Empathy is something I think I’m good at too. But I think it’s more… seeing through people, yet not letting others see through me.

Empathy… Sympathy… I do them both.

I’ve been told that I have a “gift” since so far, I have yet to meet a person who hasn’t said to me, “Holy shit… You know what it’s like.” But I say it’s just experience because I’ve been through a lot or witnessed someone who endured it first hand, doing whatever I could to help. (Which is where the sympathy comes into play.)

I tend see through others from my past, but a lot of the time, people don’t know anything regarding how I truly feel or the details of what I’ve seen. I have trust issues.

I think people who spend so much time online are bound to have trust issues. I mean on the net you can find out 90% of a person’s life with a quick search. In real life you have to wait for that person to slowly, sometimes taking years, to reveal themselves.

Not always.

Some people are just as secretive and selective in revealing themselves online as they are in real life.

Don’t I know it.