The first post ever on this blog, on June 21, 2005 was titled, “The Night.” I was on the cusp of high school and the nighttime of Summer was my last breath of solitude.
Last Summer, in an entry entitled “Separated by Glass,” I made note of how I had been spending a few moments every few nights gazing out my upstairs window, to what lay beyond.
All this Summer, I’ve been sneaking to the first floor of my house during the night to gaze out the windows into the forest, just beyond which is a road leading to the highway. I put my hand to the glass and try to grasp something on it. I think this represents the point in my life I am at right now. I’m separated by such a thin pane of glass from “real” life.
I have been doing that this Summer, too, except these times, it has usually been during dawn.
Now, the glass is shattering, the day is breaking. High school is over. College begins later today. Another huge new phase for me. So much independence, with so much responsibility. I’m more scared than I’ve been in a long time.
I can’t mess this up.
I won’t mess this up.